Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
