Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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