True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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