Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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