This is not my ceiling
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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