We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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