You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
