is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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