How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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