no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
