why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
