Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
