Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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