I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
