I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i out mim tonsoeep
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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