He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
