just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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