What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
