He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize