I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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