smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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