Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
