i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
