The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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