As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
