Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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