I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
