Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize