"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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