I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
