i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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