this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
