Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
