her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
