This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
