Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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