I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My ass is underappreciated
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
