thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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