I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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