Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
