I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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