oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize