I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
