Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Please, let me fuck your mom
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
