I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
