We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who died my cat blue again?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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