So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
