I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
