wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
