dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
