Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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