I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
