I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize