Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh god it's open bar.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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