i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
