So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
