Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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