I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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