and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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