told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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