Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
