I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
