whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
