Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
