ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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