should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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